“倘若你的弟兄得罪你，你就去，趁着只有他和你在一处的时候，指出他的错来。他若听你，你便得了你的弟兄”（太18:15）。{FH.48.1}
如果你因邻舍或朋友在行错伤害自己而感到忧伤，如果他们被过犯所胜，你就要遵循圣经的准则。“倘若你的弟兄得罪你，你就去趁着只有他和你在一处的时候，指出他的错来”（太18:15）。当你去找你认为有错的那一位时，要留心以温柔、谦卑的精神说话，因为人的怒气并不成就上帝的义。除了用温柔、亲切、慈爱的精神，其它任何方法都不能使犯错之人转回。你要注意自己的态度，任何表露骄傲自满的神色、姿态、话语和声调，都要避免。你要谨慎，不要有一点高抬自己的言语表情，也不要提出自己的善良和义行来和对方的过失相对照。谨防鄙视、傲慢和轻蔑等极其疏远人的态度。小心避免任何愤怒的表情，即使要用坦白的直言，但仍不要指责，不要嘲骂指控，不要有激愤的表示，只要表现真诚的爱。最重要的，不要有恼恨或恶意的形色，也不要发出苦毒和令人伤痛的言词。……{FH.48.2}
要谨记，责备的成效大部分都要靠赖发出责备的精神。不可忽略作诚恳的祷告，好使你们具有谦卑的心，也使上帝的天使可以在那些你们打算去接触的人们心中运行，叫他们因感受上天而来的影响得以软化，叫你们的努力奏效。……{FH.48.3}
你向别人说了弟兄姐妹或邻舍的坏话，而在此之前，你并没有按照上帝明确吩咐的步骤去找他们，你或许为此找借口说：“我是心里难过忍不住才说的。”你为什么难过呢？你难道没有明明忽略了自己的责任——没有遵照‘耶和华如此说’吗？你心中有负咎感，是因为你没有趁着只有你和犯错的人在一起时，指出他的过错来。……{FH.48.4}
有时最温和最亲切的责备，也达不到良好的效果。在这种情况下，你们希望别人因秉公行义、停止犯罪，学习行善所要领受的福惠，会回到你们自己的怀抱。如果行错的人坚持犯罪，你仍要好好地对待他们，把他们交托给你们的天父。——《评论与通讯》，1879年7月17日。{FH.48.5}
Winning Back the Erring, February 5
If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.?Matthew 18:15.?{FH 48.1}[1]
If you are grieved because your neighbors or friends are doing wrong to their own hurt, if they are overtaken in fault, follow the Bible rule. “Tell him his fault between thee and him alone.” As you go to the one you suppose to be in error, see that you speak in a meek and lowly spirit, for the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. The erring can in no other way be restored than in the spirit of meekness and gentleness and tender love. Be careful in your manner. Avoid anything in look or gesture, word or tone of voice, that savors of pride or self-sufficiency. Guard yourself against a word or look that would exalt self or present your goodness and righteousness in contrast with their failings. Beware of the most distant approach to disdain, overbearing, or contempt. With care avoid every appearance of anger, and though you use plainness of speech, yet let there be no reproach, no railing accusation, no token of warmth, but that of earnest love. Above all, let there be no shadow of hate or ill will, no bitterness nor sourness of expression....?{FH 48.2}[2]
Bear in mind that the success of reproof depends greatly upon the spirit in which it is given. Do not neglect earnest prayer that you may possess a lowly mind and that angels of God may work upon the hearts you are trying to reach, before you, and so soften them by heavenly impressions, that your efforts may avail....?{FH 48.3}[3]
You may have excused yourself for speaking evil of your brother or sister or neighbor to others before going to them, and taking the steps God has absolutely commanded. Perhaps you say, “I did not speak to anyone until I was so burdened that I could not refrain.” What burdened you? Was it a plain neglect of your own duty, a thus saith the Lord? You were under the guilt of sin because you did not go tell him his fault between thee and him alone....?{FH 48.4}[4]
Sometimes the mildest and tenderest reproof will have no good effect. In that case, the blessing you wanted another to receive by pursuing a course of righteousness, ceasing to do evil and learning to do well, will return into your own bosom. If the erring persist in sin, treat them kindly and leave them with your Heavenly Father.—The Review and Herald, July 17, 1879.?{FH 48.5}[5]
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